Friends of mine just welcomed their first child and adorably named him Hudson after the name of the street on which their first apartment together was located.  If my husband and I had done the same, our kids would sadly be named Burbank and Hazeltine Sussman. Instead, we named our son ‘Nate’, after the lead character from the HBO series “Six Feet Under”. During my pregnancy, we were binge watching the show and fell in love with Peter Kraus’ character because he was such a good guy, the kind of guy we would want our son to grow up to be like. [Read more…]

Just shortly after our son was born, my husband and I did the responsible thing and both purchased life insurance policies.  A necessity for anyone with dependents, the purpose of life insurance is to ensure that your children will be financially taken care of in the event that the unthinkable happens. To me, the very idea of buying, let alone cashing in, a life insurance policy is devasting but everyone we spoke to all said the same thing.  Take care of it now, so that you never have to think about it again.  So we did just that.  We called our guy and after a barrage of questionnaires and medical exams, we were insured and ready to move on with our lives.  Of course the exact opposite occurred, I found it hard not to think about it once I knew there was a price on my head. [Read more…]

I have noticed that for the past year or so, I’ve been doling out punishment for bad behavior at an alarmingly high rate. I have also noticed, that despite all of the practice, I have admittedly found myself making amateur mistakes when determining what is an appropriate punishment.  Just the other day in response to my son pushing his sister off of the slide, I marched up to him in a huff and proclaimed “That’s it.  No more.  I’m taking that away”.  At the time, I didn’t know what “that” was, I knew he had something in his hand, perhaps a car or an action figure, but I didn’t take the time to properly investigate.   [Read more…]

For those of you who are celebrating the discovery of the New World by staying at home with the little ones, I took the liberty of putting together a small pictorial of our family’s favorite tv free activities, in the event that you discover that this long weekend, is starting to live up to it’s name.  I cannot guarantee that these activities will keep your kids happy for any significant amount of time, however, they may help create the illusion of above average parenting on an otherwise painful Monday. [Read more…]

I know that honesty is the best policy.  I’m teaching my son that honesty is the best policy.  I have an ugly needle-point pillow that says: “honesty is the best policy”.  So why is it that the moment I step foot in the pediatrician’s office, I always, and without fail, lie my ass off?   “Does he eat the recommended serving of vegetables?”  “Yes.”  “Does she sleep in her crib throughout the night?”  “Absolutely.”  “Did you remove any and all marbles from the house?”  “Of course!”  Liar. Erin Myles, you are a goddamn liar. Why can’t I just admit some days my son consumes only hot dogs & Pirates Booty, the baby ends up in bed with us, and we still have Hungry Hungry Hippo in the house? What am I afraid of? I’m pretty sure that a man who calls himself “Dr. Howie” isn’t going to call Child Protective Services and yet, I lie.  [Read more…]

As a friendly retort to the viral blog post from ThoughtCatalog.com entitled: 10 Types of Moms That Suck, I have put together my own little list. And yes, I am hoping that it serves as a formal apology to my husband for yesterday’s post: Mr. Sensitive.

5 Types of Dads That Rule  

#1.  The ‘I don’t need a Diaper Dude’ Dude. He’s the guy who will let his daughter paint his nails; he knows what kind of man he is and he’s not threatened by a little pink polish or a Petunia Pickle Bottom bag.

#2.  The ‘I’ve got an MBA in Fun’ Dad. His imagination and sense of adventure can keep your kids busy for days.  He has just as much fun playing as his kids do, but he does it while quietly maintaining an underlying sense of order.  He is well versed in the art of water-gun wars, kick-ass fort building and hide and seek. [Read more…]

At the risk of sounding like a wife who is constantly calling her husband out, I’d like to take this opportunity to once again, call my husband out. According to him and not surprisingly backed up by his mother, he is part of an elite group of men and women who all claim they are somehow more intolerant to vomit than the rest of us.  A group of people for whom the very sound of throwing up sends them into a state of complete and total hysteria, rendering them virtually useless. I am reminded of this fact every time either of my kids blow chunks.  Before the first drop hits the floor, my husband is running for the hills dry-heaving and leaving me, of course, to clean it up.  Luckily for him and our wall-to-wall carpeting, I do. [Read more…]

Earlier this week as I was going through a box of my son’s old baby clothes I came across an adorable little onesie with the words “Future Home Run Slugger” across the chest.  It was a gift from a very dear friend of ours and I can remember my son in it, like it was yesterday. I can also remember thinking to myself “My kid? A home run slugger? Not with these genes”. My husband of course felt the exact opposite.  From day one, he has had visions of our son as a superstar athlete despite the fact that both he and I come from a very long line of, well, non-athletes. I discovered several other onesies in that box, all stamped with the same general sentiment “Future All Star”, “Dodger In Training”, “Pro-Quarterback In The Making” and it got me thinking about the dreams and, dare I say, expectations we have for our kids, particularly the boys, from day one. [Read more…]