I know that honesty is the best policy.  I’m teaching my son that honesty is the best policy.  I have an ugly needle-point pillow that says: “honesty is the best policy”.  So why is it that the moment I step foot in the pediatrician’s office, I always, and without fail, lie my ass off?   “Does he eat the recommended serving of vegetables?”  “Yes.”  “Does she sleep in her crib throughout the night?”  “Absolutely.”  “Did you remove any and all marbles from the house?”  “Of course!”  Liar. Erin Myles, you are a goddamn liar. Why can’t I just admit some days my son consumes only hot dogs & Pirates Booty, the baby ends up in bed with us, and we still have Hungry Hungry Hippo in the house? What am I afraid of? I’m pretty sure that a man who calls himself “Dr. Howie” isn’t going to call Child Protective Services and yet, I lie. 

I have read enough blogs and spoken to enough mothers to know that there is no such thing as a perfect parent but something compels me to lie when confronted with a question who’s answer makes it look like I am in fact, not the exception.  I just can’t help myself.

At my daughter’s 18 month check up, the doctor asked if we were brushing her teeth every day.  Just as I began to say “not every day” my husband, who proves time and time again, that he is essentially useless when it comes to supporting me in my web of lies, unapologetically said “Nope. Never”.  I stood there mortified and he went back reading TMZ on his phone.  It was in that moment, that I realized how much pressure I put on myself, as the Mother and Primary Caregiver, to act as though I do everything right. Much to my surprise, there was no audible gasp from Dr. Howie when he learned that we were not, infact, brushing our baby’s teeth.  He did not ring the office “bell of shame” as I had expected, he just went on with the exam.  What I failed to understand, until now, is that it is his job to merely make suggestions based on his experience and it’s our job as parents to make the right choices for our family.

So here’s what I’m going to do from now on:  I am going to walk the walk, I’m going to be honest about my decisions when it comes to parenting. No matter what, I am going to tell the truth.  Yes.  That feels good.

And just to be clear, my baby has not, under any circumstance, ever eaten peanut butter….Eh, next time.