Feedback Friday: The Halloween Dilemma

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Halloween Circa 1983. Just a couple of witches.

As admitted yesterday in my exceptionally classy post Porn For Parents?, I have had an ass full of Halloween crap over the past few weeks as a result of my more aggressive approach to social media.

In addition to all of the crafts and activities, an issue that has been discussed at length amongst my favorite blogs is the tradition of Trick or Treating and how the institution for some people, is, and has been for quite some time, evolving into something entirely different from when we were kids. [Read more...]

Porn For Parents?

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Seriously? Who has time for this shit?

Whilst trolling the internet over the past few weeks, I have become painfully aware that when it comes to all things Halloween, I am definitely failing as a mother. The number of Facebook posts, Tweets and Pinterest pins of adorable Halloween ideas for kids is astonishing and my having no part in any of it, prompts me to ask the question “who has time for this shit?”

Just yesterday, one of my favorite blogs, Red Tricycle featured an article entitled:  Adorable Lunch Ideas for Halloween and to be honest, it made me want to blow my brains out. Not because it didn’t feature the cutest little spooky lunch ideas I had ever seen, but because that very morning I had struggled to make my son a regular old bagel with cream cheese for his, very un-spooky lunch.  This post, (as seen in the photo courtesy of redtri.com) actually suggested making mini coffins out of pumpernickel bread and a Frankenstein head out of kiwi, two things you will never find in my kitchen. [Read more...]

You Know You’ve Got Little Kids If…

Strapped in and asleep. The only way to travel.

Strapped in and asleep. The only way to travel.

Do any of these sound familiar?  You Know You’ve Got Little Kids If…

You long for the day where you choose a restaurant because of it’s wine list instead of whether or not it has crayons at the hostess stand.

You’ve ever gone for “a little drive” just so that you can get out and see the world with your kids securely fastened in a 5 point harness.

You’ve ever said “That’s so interesting” or “Uh-huh really?” but have no clue what the other person is talking about and have absolutely no intention of finding out.

You’ve ever purposely lost a game of Uno to avoid a meltdown.

You’ve ever yelled at Dora for telling your kids to be “LOUDER!”.

You’ve had to repeat the words “get dressed” more than twenty times in a single hour and you are not a doctor. [Read more...]

Best Laid Plans

I wish I could say this is a misrepresentation of our daily menu but it is not.

I feel like this is a pretty accurate representation of our menu.  Minus the olives and the martini.

We are having, and have had for quite some time now, a bit of a problem when it comes to planning meals in our home.  More specifically, we don’t.  Instead, every evening at about 5 o’clock I look in the refrigerator and hope that ingredients will magically appear and inspire me to create a culinary masterpiece.  When that doesn’t happen, I usually grab the kids, throw them in the car and let our sustenance needs, be the Olive Garden’s problem.

Lately, however, my kids are starting to revolt against the idea of eating out and the thing that used to make them jump up and down in excitement is now evoking “I wanna eat at home” meltdowns.  It was after the third day of tears that I realized that I had to make a change or risk having my own kids call CPS on me.  Naturally, I called my mother, who as I remember, never allowed us to eat out unless we were celebrating a birthday, or someone had died, which consequently, made it really hard to know how to feel about The Little Beaver Restaurant. [Read more...]

Feedback Friday: The Second Time Around

We ruined our first-born pretty early on.

We ruined our first-born pretty early on.

My Grandmother has always been a firm believer that kids are like waffles. No matter how hard you try, you always have to throw the first one out.  Before I had kids, a statement such as this would have led me to believe that she had lost her mind, but now that I have two little waffles of my own, I am starting to understand what she meant.   [Read more...]

Roots & Wings

Oh Canada.

Oh Canada.

 

No matter where in the world you were raised, your country and it’s culture will inevitably shape who you are and most likely determine how you raise your kids. I was born and raised in Canada and am absolutely certain, that I owe most of what I do right with my kids, to my Canadian roots.

Below is a list of things that I attribute to being Canadian and as such, am deliberately passing onto my American children.

1. The Ability to Apologize – It’s a pretty well known fact that when it comes to saying ‘sorry’, no one does it better than Canadians.  I am not afraid to admit when I’ve done something wrong, and everyday my kids are learning to apologize when they too, are in the wrong.  Some people may think that it makes me weak but I think the ability to take responsibility for your mistakes is a sign of strength and I’m not going to apologize for it.  Or wait, I am. No.  I’m confused. Sorry about that. Shit. [Read more...]

Buzz Kill

The notorious purse.

The notorious purse.

It’s a pretty well known fact that the moment you become a parent just about everything in your life changes.  In an instant you go from taking care of yourself to being responsible for the health and welfare of a whole other life which, if I haven’t already made it clear in previous posts, is no easy feat.  From the very first moment you lay eyes on your little munchkin, you are forever changed for the better, but as any parent will attest, joy like this does not come without sacrifice. [Read more...]

In Case of Emergency

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When I was about 8 months pregnant with my son, I was driving down a busy street in LA when I spotted a cat in middle of the road that had obviously been hit by a car. I watched in horror as he tried to get up while other cars swerved to avoid him but did not stop. I knew that despite the fact that I would be putting myself and my unborn baby at risk, I would have to be the one to do something. So, without even the slightest bit of hesitation, I jumped out of my car and carefully scooped the tiny, broken cat in my arms and gingerly laid him on my back seat. Like a pro, I navigated my way through traffic calmly and void of panic with one goal; to save that cat. For those few moments, I was like a real life hero, I was willing to do whatever it took and I remember thinking to myself, yes, I am that kind of person. The kind of person that can be counted on when shit gets real. [Read more...]