Buzz Kill

The notorious purse.

The notorious purse.

It’s a pretty well known fact that the moment you become a parent just about everything in your life changes.  In an instant you go from taking care of yourself to being responsible for the health and welfare of a whole other life which, if I haven’t already made it clear in previous posts, is no easy feat.  From the very first moment you lay eyes on your little munchkin, you are forever changed for the better, but as any parent will attest, joy like this does not come without sacrifice.

Like most mothers, I have had to say goodbye to sleep, a semi-decent body and unaccompanied trips to the bathroom. But to my surprise, and contrary to what many other moms say, I have also noticed that my consumption of alcohol has decreased drastically to point that it is almost non-existent. For most parents the idea of not drinking is devastating, but for me, it is actually a very good thing, and I’ll tell you why.

About a month before I got pregnant with my first child, I took a trip to Las Vegas with my husband and some friends.  We danced and drank like people do and by eleven o’clock, the time when the cool people are just leaving their rooms, I was so drunk that I threw up in my purse outside the Bellagio. According to my husband, I was so intoxicated that I thought it would be classier and less embarrassing to vomit in my tiny Hobo clutch rather than in the bushes next to the taxi stand.  I spent the next two days locked in my room unable to function and my wild weekend had turned into a hell of my own making.  Although this was the first time I chose to throw up in my purse, it was not the first time my inability to hold my drink took me out for an extended period of time.

I can barely handle my kids as I am now, so I could only imagine the horrid reaction that I would have to their shenanigans if I was experiencing a case of the “spins” or the “ebola-like” symptoms of one of my famous hangovers. Every time I am woken at 6am by the sound of my son screaming “SURPRISE!”, a regular morning occurrence, I thank my lucky stars that having kids, has essentially scared the drunk out of me.

So when friends and family all ask me why I’m not drinking and say that I’m no fun anymore, I only have to remind them that now that I’m a mom, I carry a much bigger purse and would rather fill it with toys and diapers than with the contents of my stomach.


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