You can’t go back.

Just this past weekend, I half jokingly said to my husband that I would “kill for a cold” because then, I would have an excuse to spend the day in bed.

I wasn’t looking for anything too severe, no strep or stomach flu, just a little something to justify eating my lunch in bed and watching t.v. all day.

Of course two days later, when I woke up with a sore throat and fever, I knew the universe had heard my call and granted my request.

Good news right?

Wrong.

What I neglected to realize was that as a stay-at-home mom, being sick changes nothing. In addition to a million other things, I still had to walk my son to school, do laundry, serve meals and play, it just meant that I felt like shit while doing so.

What I realize now, is that my fantasy was not just to be sick, but to be sick in my mother’s house, under her care and back when I was seven. If I would have been more specific in my wish, perhaps I would have spent the day watching Muppet Babies while being served root beer floats and jello instead of popping pills and counting down the agonizing minutes until my kids went to bed.

I learned today that despite my best efforts, there is no going back. I am a mother now and as such, must suck it up in order to keep the little people  I birthed, happy and alive. I must also come to grips with the idea that my children will not cease to need me just because Mommy is sick and instead, accept the fact that no matter how swollen my glands are, they will still want to know when their goddamn chicken nuggets are ready.

So here is to another day of motherhood and mucus. Wish me luck and pray that the rest of them don’t get what I have, otherwise prepare yourself for a series of blogs documenting my slow but painful journey into madness.