…Is something I say at least twice a day. The truth is, I’m not. Or at least I wasn’t before I had kids. I used to be a calm, quiet person. Non-confrontational to a fault even. But in the same way that my boobs used to be perky and full of life…shit has changed. It’s pretty safe to say, that for the past year not a single day has gone by without me yelling at someone in my house and there is no sign of that letting up any time soon. I yell because someone hits, I yell because no one listens, and sometimes I yell because it just feels good. The other day when I found myself in what I can only describe as a lego induced rage, my husband suggested that perhaps I “calm down and try to not yell so much”. So naturally, I in turn, yelled at him.
I haven’t done the research but I’m fairly certain that if you spoke to a handful of stay-at-home moms and dads, you would be hard pressed to find even one who hasn’t had to raise their voice at some point in their career as a parent. I’m not saying it’s right, I’m certainly not saying it’s effective but I am saying it happens. From what I understand, parenting children at any age is hard, but for those first 5 years it’s especially challenging because it is done under less than ideal conditions. Doesn’t it seem such a cruel joke that many of our most difficult tasks as parents are performed on minimal sleep and in between occasional showers?
In an effort to address my addiction I turned to Google for some helpful hints on how to avoid the yelling and effectively keep the peace. After reading several articles it turns out that all of the advice from the experts basically boils down to this: Caffeinate yourself appropriately, lower your expectations and work out. Unfortunately, I don’t drink coffee, I have rock bottom expectations and if I had time to work out I don’t think I would be writing this however, I am certain that I can do better. Hell, if Matthew McConaughey can spend an hour and fifty-three minutes as a shirtless treasure hunter in a crap movie like “Fools Gold” then turn around and win an Oscar 6 years later, I too can reinvent myself.
Starting this very moment, I am going to exercise my ability to deal with adversity in a calm, zen-like manner. I will take a breath before reacting and for once, listen to my husband’s advice and just “calm the f@#k down”. Most importantly I will try to always remember that my kids are like little human shaped sponges who are learning from me everyday, the art of an appropriate response.
NOW SOMEBODY TWEET THIS BLOG OR SO HELP ME GOD, I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND!!!!!