…Is something I say at least twice a day. The truth is, I’m not. Or at least I wasn’t before I had kids. I used to be a calm, quiet person. Non-confrontational to a fault even. But in the same way that my boobs used to be perky and full of life…shit has changed. It’s pretty safe to say, that for the past year not a single day has gone by without me yelling at someone in my house and there is no sign of that letting up any time soon. I yell because someone hits, I yell because no one listens, and sometimes I yell because it just feels good. The other day when I found myself in what I can only describe as a lego induced rage, my husband suggested that perhaps I “calm down and try to not yell so much”. So naturally, I in turn, yelled at him.
I haven’t done the research but I’m fairly certain that if you spoke to a handful of stay-at-home moms and dads, you would be hard pressed to find even one who hasn’t had to raise their voice at some point in their career as a parent. I’m not saying it’s right, I’m certainly not saying it’s effective but I am saying it happens. From what I understand, parenting children at any age is hard, but for those first 5 years it’s especially challenging because it is done under less than ideal conditions. Doesn’t it seem such a cruel joke that many of our most difficult tasks as parents are performed on minimal sleep and in between occasional showers?
In an effort to address my addiction I turned to Google for some helpful hints on how to avoid the yelling and effectively keep the peace. After reading several articles it turns out that all of the advice from the experts basically boils down to this: Caffeinate yourself appropriately, lower your expectations and work out. Unfortunately, I don’t drink coffee, I have rock bottom expectations and if I had time to work out I don’t think I would be writing this however, I am certain that I can do better. Hell, if Matthew McConaughey can spend an hour and fifty-three minutes as a shirtless treasure hunter in a crap movie like “Fools Gold” then turn around and win an Oscar 6 years later, I too can reinvent myself.
Starting this very moment, I am going to exercise my ability to deal with adversity in a calm, zen-like manner. I will take a breath before reacting and for once, listen to my husband’s advice and just “calm the f@#k down”. Most importantly I will try to always remember that my kids are like little human shaped sponges who are learning from me everyday, the art of an appropriate response.
NOW SOMEBODY TWEET THIS BLOG OR SO HELP ME GOD, I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND!!!!!
Karen Baker Landers says
Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!
I LOVE this Erin!!
I don’t even have kids, but I do have a husband and have felt the exact same way many times… !!
Wait… maybe I shouldn’t be laughing… : )
There is no way that you yell! You are way too put together! Thank you so much for reading…it means so much to me
Rachel McMahon says
Omg! This has definitely been me this week. I so needed to read this! It’s so nice to know I am not alone. I too have been googling ways to stay calm and not react too quickly. It’s not easy but it’s doable. I love your blog Erin. Great stuff!
Thanks Rachel! It makes me feel better to know I’m not alone too Thank you SO much for reading!
Brilliantly funny! …. and this isn’t your Dad.
Ha! Thank you Cliff…who is not my father.
I grew up around yelling and always promised myself I would not yell at my kids. Well, that didn’t last long once I started staying home with the kids on a daily basis. At times, I feel like I’m the only parent who raises their voice at their children. Thanks Erin, for showing us that we are indeed not alone. It helps to talk about how frustrating parenting can be. I once went into the garage, shut the door (ok, I slammed the damn thing) and yelled as loud as I could. I composed myself and opened the door to see my two children staring at me as if I was the crazy one. Then they both started crying and saying that they would listen and not hit each other if daddy promised never to “die” like that again. Next time, I’ll scream into a pillow followed by a shot of Jack Daniels… or two.
Jason you are hilarious. Thank you for reading and validating my frustrations. My room of choice is the bathroom. It’s the only room in the house that has a lock and a access to water for some of my “extended stays”. xoxo
Lori Otte aka Aunt Lori says
OK Erin add onto normal parenting the fact that I am so old that I am going thru menopause and my kids still fall into the 5-15 range. My family basically had to do an intervention I was yelling so much. The only person i believed was Jen.The doctor doesn’t want to give me hormone replacement therapy cause its cancer causing and my husband keeps saying..”really, is it really that risky to take the estrogen?”. Its a win win for him…I’m nice for a couple of years and then he gets the insurance money. So no matter how much you yell, rest assured I’m yelling more.
Lol! Thank you for that Aunt Lori, you certainly make me feel better!!!! Thank you so much for reading it!!!