Just what we need in our house…more audible farts.

With the holiday season in full swing and my children’s ridiculous list for Santa growing bigger and bigger everyday, I have found myself less interested in what they really want and instead, am choosing items off their list based on their ability to drive me, less crazy.

It’s selfish, I know, but as any parent who has been subjected to the sights and sounds of Switch and Go Dinos will attest, sometimes not granting their every wish, is what’s best for everyone.

Enter the Despicable Me Fart Blaster.

About a week ago, while shopping for a birthday gift at Toys R Us, we happened to come across this little gem and my 5 year old son has been infatuated with it ever since. He talks about it at least twice a day, and over the past few hours I have noticed that he has begun speaking as though it is already under the tree. He has carved out a space in his heart for it, and a shelf in his room despite the fact that Santa is still on the fence about it.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t want to make my son’s dream of triggered farting come true, it’s just that I personally try to steer clear of that type of comedy (dick and fart jokes) and am having a hard time encouraging my son to engage in it.

I understand a love for bodily functions is perfectly normal in boys his age and am reminded of that fact every time he utters the words “Baby Booty Poopie Pie” when I ask him if he needs to use the bathroom, but just because it’s normal doesn’t mean I have to like it.

My fear is that if I give him the one thing that he wants this Christmas, I am once again, setting myself up for frustration and of course, failure.

So the question for today is: Is there such a thing as responsible Fart Gun use? Can I teach my 5 year old how and when to use it appropriately, or when you give a kid a Fart Gun are you essentially saying “Go…Be an asshole”?