I recently read an article online about how annoying it is for Non-Parents to hear from Parents that raising dogs is “nothing” compared to raising kids. At first I thought sure, I guess that would be annoying, hearing something like that over and over but then thought, what kind of idiots are actually saying, out loud, that “raising” dogs could ever be anything like raising children? I don’t want to sound intolerant or inconsiderate but any comparison is just embarrassing.
Listen, I have arguably one of the most high maintenance dogs out there. Maddy, our 9 year old lab mix eats underwear, is allergic to bee stings, has unexplainable seizures, severe food issues and is as stupid as they come but never once have I had to schedule a shower around her nap. I’m being insensitive right? What they mean is that they treat their dogs like their children. Really? Well then someone call CPS because I don’t remember the last time I left my child at home for 8 hours while I went to work. Just because you let your dogs sleep in your bed and feed them better than your husband, does not mean they are like your children.
Let’s stop insulting each other’s intelligence and cease to use this comparison. It makes us all look stupid. Kids are kids, dogs are dogs. For those of who you have dogs and not kids, good for you! You are probably traveling a lot, eating out all the time and saving a boat-load of money. Do yourself a favor, enjoy it. Own it. Know that while you are sitting naked watching back to back episodes of Game of Thrones on a Saturday afternoon, we parents have been up since 5 am and are now stuck eating bad pizza at a My Gym. Take comfort in that fact, and stop trying to level the playing field with your Snauzer’s tales of incontinence. We are on an entirely different planet when it comes to feces. Trust me.